Ask Amy: My daughter’s husband suddenly said he wants a divorce

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dear Amy: My daughter has been married for almost a year.

Her husband is in the military and they had to get married so she could live with him during the covid-19 closures.

They live on an isolated military base. She takes care of the house, started a business, volunteers with the Red Cross and has a dog that keeps her busy.

She just graduated from college, but there is no job at the base for her.

He came home from work last night and told her that he had been unhappy for a while and that he wanted a divorce.

He said counseling won’t help; his mind is made up. She then left and stayed at a friend’s house. He won’t take her calls.

They’ve both had pre-marital counseling and have some relationship books, so they have tools.

I told her to send him an email to express how she feels, because it’s not okay for him to treat her like this. She is devastated and she doesn’t even know what she has done wrong.

Last month they were talking about starting a family. How are they at the gates of divorce?

He has been drinking a lot with his friends in the last month. He just decided that he’s over and she needs to pack up and go?

What should be your first steps? She lives several states away, so it’s not possible to give her a hug, but I need to help her.

She is alone and devastated and doesn’t know where to turn.

I encouraged her to see the pastor at the base (this is the only counselor), but she is hesitant. Your advice?

j: Stay in close contact with your daughter. I agree that you should see the base chaplain. The chaplain cannot save her marriage, but that person will know the next steps the couple should take if they decide to separate, or if her husband just decides to make this break permanent.

Military OneSource is a very useful online portal provided by the Department of Defense. The site covers most topics of importance to military families and offers a “live chat” feature as well as telephone counseling support.

Your daughter’s first step should be to investigate her legal options and responsibilities. She married quickly; it might be better to dissolve this brief marriage quickly as well.

I understand that if this divorce becomes a legal reality, your daughter will lose access to internal military housing.

As her supportive father, you should encourage her to breathe, to take things one step at a time, and, yes, (if possible) you should offer to help her pack the U-Haul.

dear Amy: I need advice!

I am a young adult hoping to break into the music industry. I use social media to network and connect with other artists, posting events, photos, etc.

My well meaning Nana leaves comments and shares all my posts on her “page”.

It’s completely embarrassing and looks unprofessional. How do I make her stop without hurting her feelings or blocking her out? To help!

power off key: First of all… how sweet. I’m at the age and stage in life where I think Proud Nanas are great.

Once you make it bigger, you can proudly “own” it. In fact, your Nana’s fandom could be your secret superpower. There may be clever ways to use her pride and commitment to promote her work. (A sample endorsement: “Goth’s Earworm: Easily as Good as REO Speedwagon! (my Nana)”)

In the meantime, find ways to “mute” your comments. You should be able to do this without her noticing.

Also, be sure to engage through the best social channels for your career. Your Nana probably isn’t on TikTok (but if she is, you should probably follow her lead).

dear Amy: I appreciate your compassion regarding the loss of a pet. My dear labrador retriever passed away recently.

Agonizing over what to do when she was really struggling near the end of her life, I reached out to Lap of Love (lapoflove.com) and they were amazing.

They provide in-house visits, hospice care, medical advice (telehealth), euthanasia, and pet loss support.

I am so grateful to the extremely kind and caring vet who helped us through a very difficult time.

— Missing my dog ​​in Conn.

missing my dog: Home hospice care for a dying animal is truly a gift.

©2022 by Amy Dickinson Distributed by Tribune Content Agency

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