Carolyn Hax: Congratulations on college! Now let your sister have your room.

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Adapted from an online discussion.

Dear Caroline: My senior daughter has the best kids room and it’s so much better than the other rooms. This is neither debatable nor disputed.

Senior is going off to college next fall. The 9th grade daughter is arguing that she should have the best room when she leaves Senior. The girls get along and this is not a fight, but Senior is sad to lose her room, as if she is no longer a part of the house. She would get a nice room that would have all her things, but not Best Room, which she got when she was 3 years old.

I know we don’t need to make a decision yet, but I lean towards the ninth grader’s position: why is the best room empty? And it’s only fair that you get the best room for at least part of the time you live here. Thinking?

Anonymous: Oh well, an easy one. Yes, bounce the senior this summer. Or earlier, so you can change your impression of your new room long before you leave? Give him that choice: switch right when this school year ends or switch in mid-July. Just don’t wait until the end of summer, there’s too much going on while you’re getting ready to go.

· Maybe the senior could get some money to decorate or something? Going off to college can be emotionally difficult, so having an extra nice, albeit smaller, place at home can be nice.

· Work with both girls to make the transition smooth. I still remember when I came home freshman year to find that all my stuff had been moved from my” room and unceremoniously crammed into a tiny upstairs room.

· And consider how birth order has influenced The Way It Is. I’m the youngest and I fell short on a lot of things, including the Crap Room. I understand your oldest daughter had this room when she was 3, but did anyone ever consider changing that arrangement before she moved in? No wonder she’s so attached to him. You say it’s not a fight, and maybe it isn’t. But assigning things according to birth order is a no-brainer for everyone except the person who gets screwed, who is always part of you.

Hi Carolyn, Our three children (ages 5-9) have been asking for a dog. It’s starting to seem like the right time.

There is a “complication”: one of the children next door, one of only two children my children play with, is allergic to dogs. I hate the idea of ​​a child not being able to get into our house, especially when we would have a dog after knowing that. It is not a minor allergy.

I know our children may not always be around, and I hate that my children miss out on a dog, but I find it exclusionary and heartbreaking. Am I thinking too much about this? I really don’t want to ask parents if there are certain types of dogs that would work because it feels like I’m passing the burden of decision to them, but maybe I should.

Overthinking?: Absolutely talk to the neighbors. You’re not asking for their permission, you’re just doing your homework in a kind and inclusive way. Find out if any breed or treatment would work. And if the answer is no, then I would seriously consider postponing it. And I am a dog person.

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